The call of the unknown
It had been a long and painful chapter, but eventually I reached a point where I knew I had to find a new life, a new direction.
After my long-term partner – the person I had believed was my soul mate (or so I thought) – decided that his life needed more excitement and began seeking attention elsewhere and told me everything with disarming honesty. That was the final blow. I kicked him out of our shared home from one day to the next. He left, scrambling for a temporary place to stay, and just like that, our seven-year relationship collapsed. The infamous seven-year mark.
We had lived intensely. We had travelled widely and wildly, surviving foreign places, remote wildernesses, and moments where we depended on each other completely. We backpacked through Southeast Asia, bought a dusty old car to roam the wild Australian outback, and pedalled through New Zealand’s green, rolling hills – our bicycles loaded with everything we could need for the adventure: camping gear, spare bike parts, groceries and even a Chinese wok to cook over an open fire.
Experiences like that should bond two people for life – at least that’s what I believed. But in the end, even all of that wasn’t enough to hold us together. I guess, returning to a predictable, structured life crushed him. Routine drained him, while adventure had fed him. So he reinvented himself into a version of life he found thrilling – sun, wind, sport, and a crowd of admirers. And with that new life came the attention of women who found him irresistible. It didn’t take long before I was replaced. Then replaced again. And again.
The hole I fell into each time got darker, deeper, harder to climb out of. All the dreams I’d carried – marriage, children, a future together – shattered. On top of that, my job in a development laboratory gave me no joy. It was demanding with little meaningfulness.
I was miserable, down, broken, just functioning. That whole cycle lasted two years.
My favourite aunty, my closest confidante, finally told me, “Get out of the mud.” She meant it literally and figuratively. Only I could pull myself out. No friend, no family member could drag me up unless I reached out my own hand. And I wasn’t. I had become attached to the misery. It was familiar. Almost comforting. Changing meant stepping into the unknown, and the body resists that – it clings to the emotional habits it knows. To break that pattern takes willingness. Awareness.
And maybe a hint from the universe.
My hint came quietly, from the enlarged photograph of African elephant on my bedroom wall – a gift from that same aunty, whose intuition was always uncannily spot-on.
Five massive bull elephants, each over five tons, walked across a dusty savanna, following one another along a well-trodden elephant path – possibly an ancient route used by generations of ellies.
These beautiful creatures, framed and bound to my wall, were very large African bulls, not tamed elephant, not circus elephant, definitely wild African elephant, all bulls. I would often glimpse at the image and wonder… how on earth was that photograph taken? How did the photographer manage to get so close to these wild giants? I must mention that this was long before Go-pro’s and drone cameras even existed.
In my gloom, I had completely ignored it, but one morning, that image spoke to something deep within me.
A nudge. A reminder. A direction.
I knew I had to take the first step. This was my life, and I was wasting it. I realised that if you don’t reach out for help, no one can grab your hand. Life is that simple. You receive only when you ask.
So I made the decision to move on. I turned my attention to a new future and found comfort in having the home to myself. The four walls no longer threatened to crush me; instead, they opened up, and the idea of seeking “new pastures” began to excite me. As joy slowly returned, new thoughts and possibilities entered my mind. I felt alert, expectant – a quiet readiness for the universe to show me the way.
And it did. There, on the wall, were the elephants, calling to me every morning.
In fact, I think they had been shouting all along – urging me to return to Africa, to the land where elephants walk.
How had I ignored them all this time, when they had been there – right in front of my eyes?
I made a decision. I was going back to my elephants.
Read the second part of my story, to follow how my life unfolded – and the incredible truth I discovered upon returning to my elephants.
A journey of realisation that went far deeper than I could have imagined.